How to help a friend who may be thinking about suicide
It can be hard to know what to say or do when you鈥檙e worried about a friend, roommate, classmate or another student. Here are some ways you can help your fellow Buffs.听You don鈥檛 need to know for sure that someone is thinking about suicide before you check in鈥攁nd you don鈥檛 have to handle the situation on your own.听
For 24/7 crisis support, call Counseling & Psychiatric Services (CAPS) at 303-492-2277 or call or text 988.听
If you think someone may be in immediate danger or at risk of harming themselves right now, call 911.听听
听听Know some of the warning signs of suicide听
There isn鈥檛 one sign that tells you for sure that someone is thinking about suicide. If someone starts acting differently, says something that concerns you or seems to be having an especially difficult time, it鈥檚 okay to check in.听
Warning signs may include:听
- Talking about wanting to die or suicide听
- Feeling hopeless, trapped or like there鈥檚 no reason to live听
- Talking about being a burden to others听
- Withdrawing from friends or activities听
- Giving away important belongings or saying goodbye听
- Taking unusual or dangerous risks听
- Experiencing extreme mood changes听
- Significant changes in sleep or eating听
- Using alcohol or other substances more often听
You don鈥檛 need to use this list as a checklist. If something feels off鈥攎aybe your roommate hasn鈥檛 left their room much, a friend has stopped showing up to class or someone says something that worries you鈥攖rust your concern and reach out.听
听听Start the conversation听
Find a private time to talk and start with what you鈥檝e noticed.听
You could say:听
- 鈥淗ey, you haven鈥檛 seemed like yourself lately. How are you doing?鈥听
- 鈥淚鈥檝e noticed you鈥檝e been missing class and haven鈥檛 been around much. I鈥檓 worried about you.鈥听
- 鈥淵ou seemed really overwhelmed yesterday. Want to talk about what鈥檚 going on?鈥听
You don鈥檛 need the perfect opening. Showing someone that you鈥檝e noticed a change and care about them is a good place to start.听
听听Ask directly about suicide听
If you鈥檙e wondering whether someone may be thinking about suicide, ask them directly:听
鈥淚鈥檓 asking because I care about you. Are you thinking about suicide?鈥听
Asking about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior. Being direct gives someone an opportunity to tell you what they鈥檙e experiencing.听
If they say no, you can still listen and offer support. If they say yes, take them seriously and help them connect with support.听
听听If they say they鈥檙e thinking about suicide听
Hearing 鈥測es鈥 can feel scary. You don鈥檛 need to figure everything out yourself. Focus on being present and getting support.听
Listen without judgment. Give them space to talk rather than debating, lecturing or trying to solve everything. You might say, 鈥淚鈥檓 really glad you told me,鈥 or, 鈥淟et鈥檚 figure out who we can reach out to together.鈥听
Don鈥檛 promise to keep it secret. If you鈥檙e worried about their safety, getting help is more important than keeping the conversation between the two of you.听
Connect them with support. Offer to sit with them while they call CAPS or 988. You can also call CAPS yourself if you鈥檙e concerned about another student and need guidance.听
If you believe they may harm themselves right now, call 911. If someone tells you they are going to kill themselves, don鈥檛 leave them alone. Get professional or emergency support rather than trying to manage the situation yourself.听
听听What if you can鈥檛 reach them?听
Maybe a friend sent you a concerning text and stopped responding, or you have another reason to be seriously worried about their safety.听
A welfare check may be an option when you can鈥檛 contact someone or confirm that they鈥檙e safe.听
- On campus: CUPD at 303-492-6666听
- Off campus in 麻豆影院: 麻豆影院 Police at 303-441-3333听
- Outside 麻豆影院: Contact the local emergency or law enforcement agency where the person is located.听
Not everyone feels safer when police are involved, and a welfare check may not be the right response in every situation. If there isn鈥檛 an immediate life-threatening emergency and you鈥檙e unsure what to do, call CAPS at 303-492-2277 for guidance.听
听听Check in again听
Support doesn鈥檛 have to end after the conversation. Send a text the next day, grab food together, walk to class or simply ask how they鈥檙e doing.听
At the same time, you aren鈥檛 responsible for someone else鈥檚 mental health or for keeping them safe by yourself. Bring professional resources and other trusted people into their support system.听
听听Take care of yourself, too听
Supporting a friend who is struggling can be a lot to hold, especially if you're worried about their safety. You can ask for help for yourself, too.听
CAPS can provide guidance if you're concerned about another student. Talking with someone you trust, getting support or taking time to decompress after a difficult conversation can also help.听
听听Where to get help at CU 麻豆影院听
If someone needs urgent or same-day mental health support听
- Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS): Call 303-492-2277 for 24/7 support. CAPS provides crisis and urgent mental health support and can also help if you're concerned about another student.听
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for 24/7 crisis support.听
- Life-threatening emergency: Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.听
If a student needs help navigating a听difficult situation听
- Student Outreach, Advocacy & Support (SOAS): SOAS provides non-clinical case management and can help students navigate challenging circumstances and connect with campus and community resources. SOAS is not an emergency or crisis service.听
If you want to learn how to support others听
- : This one-hour training helps participants feel more prepared to recognize warning signs for suicide, respond effectively, and refer to campus resources.听听
- : This nationally recognized, full-day training can help students learn to recognize and respond to mental health and substance use concerns and connect people with appropriate support.听
Sign up for these and other Health Promotion trainings.听
Remember鈥攜ou don鈥檛 need to diagnose someone, determine exactly how much danger they鈥檙e in or find the perfect words. Being the person who notices something is wrong and helps a fellow Buff connect with support can make a meaningful difference.听
Thinking about talking to a therapist about suicide?听
If you鈥檙e having thoughts of suicide yourself, you may be worried about what will happen if you tell a therapist. Will you have to go to the hospital? What will they ask? Who will know?听
Learn what you can expect when you talk to a therapist about suicide, including how therapists assess your safety, what safety planning may look like and when hospitalization may be considered.听